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I was prompted by Robert Jarrell’s story in last month’s Caroline Review to trace the Marshyhope as it wiggles its way into Delaware. If I knew, I’d forgotten, that the streams and CC ditches that run around my in-law’s property (near Andrewville) are all part of the Marshyhope watershed.
It was just the other day that I sat down with good friends and listened to a tale of a gentleman who refused to cross the bridge on Garland Road. Refused to cross it because there was, at said crossing, a "haint." Now, this is the part where I could have stopped the storyteller and asked for clarity, but what fun would that be? Much more entertaining for Connie & Bob to read about my puzzlement in the Caroline Review!
I knew, with a decent level of certainty, just what was guarding the bridge across the Garey Mill Pond Branch. My mind instantly turned to the images in an old children’s book I was gifted as a toddler. Filled with all the classic nursery rhymes, short stories and Aesop’s fables. I turned the pages and stopped with “The Three Billy Goats Gruff.” The troll, yes, under the bridge! The drawing in that tattered old book showed a gruesome character, indeed. I’d avoid him, too! But, was he a haint? It’s part of southern folklore, and refers to an evil spirit who can inhabit a home. The good news is that there are some easy ways to shield yourself. The haint is a fickle sort - it cannot cross water. This factoid leads to the modern tradition of painting a porch ceiling blue to confuse the haint, who thinks the ceiling is water, so they refuse to enter the home. As further proof, Sherwin- Williams offers a shade long known as Haint Blue. Case closed!
Just as interesting, to me, is the other method for dealing with these critters: paste newspapers on the walls of your house. You see, the haint just can’t help but stand there and read every single word before proceeding! I did not find anything to say whether the paper needed to be regularly updated; I’d suggest, just in case, that you wallpaper your home monthly with copies of this fine publication. This has the added benefit of keeping the phone numbers handy for all those great advertisers.
“Honey, when was that gospel concert again?”
“Check in the living room, up near the ceiling over the sofa…”
“No, that’s Jason’s Computers.”
“Oh, I found it...over by the kitchen sink...”
