'Let’s Talk About It'

There’s something people say to me all the time, usually a little quietly, like they’re not sure how it will sound out loud.

“I just didn’t think it was happening here.”

And I understand why they say that. The Eastern Shore feels like the kind of place where people look out for each other. Where neighbors know your name. Where problems like domestic violence feel like they belong somewhere else bigger, somewhere farther away.

The sad truth is that it’s here in our communities.

I’ve spent almost 40 years working with victims of domestic violence, and I can tell you without hesitation, domestic violence does not discriminate. I have worked with many brave people of every age, background, and circumstance. People who never imagined they would find themselves in a situation where they felt afraid in their own home.

And almost all of them start the same way:

“I didn’t think it was that bad, or I thought it was my fault.”

That’s part of what makes domestic violence so difficult to see. It doesn’t always look like what people expect. It doesn’t always start with something obvious. It can begin with control, isolation or emotional abuse that escalates over time. By the time someone realizes how serious it has become, they may already feel trapped, unsure of where to turn, or afraid of what will happen next.

That’s where we come in.

At the Mid-Shore Council on Family Violence, we meet people in some of the hardest moments of their lives. Sometimes it’s a phone call in the middle of the night. Sometimes it’s someone quietly asking for information, not quite ready to take the next step. Sometimes it’s a parent trying to figure out how to keep their children safe.

No matter how someone reaches out, our job is the same: to listen, to believe them, and to help them find a path forward.

Over the coming months, I’m going to use this space to talk more openly about what domestic violence really looks like, why it’s so often misunderstood, and how we, as a community, can respond in a way that truly helps.

Because awareness matters, but understanding matters more.

If there’s one thing I hope you take from this today, it’s this: if you or someone you know is experiencing something that doesn’t feel right; fear, control, isolation. You don’t have to figure it out alone.

There is help. And it’s closer than you think.

And if you’re someone reading this wondering how you can be part of the solution, I hope you’ll keep coming back each month. This work belongs to all of us.

We just have to be willing to see it and continue to talk about it.